A Happy Ending For All (But Mostly Amazon)

A change in Amazon’s KDP program has been making the rounds. Recently, Amazon announced its plans to only pay up if its Kindle Unlimited clients received proper stimulation until the very end. Hey, who doesn’t appreciate a Happy Ending? Now the internet and all the ‘sellers’ in there threw on their clear heels and clickedy-clackedy their way to the picket line screaming oppression.

Wait a minute now.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. You’re an indie author–you’re not even considered an author to some. Hell, you’re not even a person at this point, just another number to be crunched…and you’re a dime a dozen. So yes, papa Amazon is cleaning house. And you should be taking notes from each and every poor performer who gets the steady backhand so that it’s not you next.

Here’s the deal. Originally Amazon was looking to make a buck. It was willing to sell any and every poor, desperate starry-eyed dreamer looking to become famous. It led you through a few back alleys and promised you the world…in return for your soul. And you signed up. Why? Well, all the other blood-suckers only stole from you. Amazon was at least willing to steal from you WHILE allowing a few cents to trickle your way. And you stuck by them because even though they were as brutal as others, once in a while they gave you nice things like a ‘bestseller’ star in some obscure category with only three other competitors or a promo deal. They made you feel special.

But then one day, you started doubting the quality of your new ‘friends’ who were also recruited: Unedited Guy 1 and No Idea What She’s Doing Gal 2. Money dried up. This band of ‘stars’ weren’t really trying that hard. Oh, something was still trickling on you, all right. The clients also stopped coming. It got harder and harder to keep faith in papa amazon, not when you had to do a few things for free in order to hook a few regulars. And let’s not even talk about the $0.99 walks of shame.

*sigh*

Amazon has learned, and so have you. You absolutely want this. You absolutely need this. So what if a few don’t make it; they can go back to Fresno to their scared parents where they belong. You? You’ve got no place to go and about fifty cents to your name. Quit whining about the broken heels you’ve gotta limp to the corner in and worry more about your performance.

Why are you even reading this? Get your ass back to work. Those minds aren’t gonna blow themselves.