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Why Likes For Likes Are The Awkward Handshakes After A Failed Sexual Encounter.

First, let it be known, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have done like for like in the past. So I’m no like for like virgin. Just letting everyone know…I’m no prude. I’ve ‘hit’ da.

That being said, like mine I’ll like yours is a pretty common thing now.

So here is my confession: it’s been about a good year since I’ve liked for like. It was a brief experiment and you know…it was awkward. Why? Because I never intended to visit that page and at random times when one popped up in my feed, if it wasn’t interesting, I’d either unfollow it (without unliking it. Which keeps it in bounds, right?) or remove my like because it wasn’t for me.

Here is the thing about likes. Doing like for like makes those likes lose some of the luster. I’ve just crossed my 1,000 like on my fan page, and I have no idea how. In fact, sometimes I fear posting because I worry that poor b*stard will realize their mistake and the jig will be up.

And then I started thinking about it, asking myself WHY. Why did I get likes without giving likes back? Sure, I have liked other pages that I thought were cute or interesting, but not as a like for like trade. So why?

I’m not particularly pleasant.

Though I am at times humorous, it usually ends strange (truly strange).

My fan page posts aren’t that frequent.

Basically…I’m not cool.

And then it occurred to me, the one thing that like for like actually robs authors of…presence. It makes us not ‘there’. Look at a like for like thread and you see a wall of strangers. I hardly recognize the majority of them. That’s because they actively go on the thread (and others) and rack up likes. Now, this fluffing of the features makes it seem as though the author has a lot of fans. And of course, there’s always the off chance that one of these random hands reaching over to cup you might actually be attached to someone who might like you for your mind–and is not just in it to get touched back.

That’s not always the case.

Presence. If people know you, they’ll like you. If you interact with them, they won’t mace you on sight. If you get involved in the forums, actively making topics and interacting with others, they’ll actually lay hands on you and it won’t be all awkward and ‘wrong’ feeling.

So while I admit, I’m no like for like innocent, (I had a rough patch when I started out and might have touched a few buttons that I probably shouldn’t have.) I do think it’s possible to get those likes by just letting people get to know you. Tell others what you write. Share your current WIP and how it’s going. Have a rough scene that’s giving you trouble? Why not whine about it and let others whine about theirs? Get involved. Climb in there and introduce yourself a bit before you start copping a feel, hoping for one in return.

Sure, you might not get as many likes, but chances are, the ones you do get, are the ones who’ll likely check in on you now and then, and MIGHT go the extra mile by actually remembering who the hell you are.

 

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